At the beginning of our life together, I often assessed, reflected...yes...obsessed about what appeared as 'lack of progress'!! For example, in the house, she had always had the habit of going the longest way round to the front door when it came to going out. This involved a circular detour through the lounge into the kitchen and out through the dining room, which happens to lead directly to the front door. This was a way of avoiding contact with me initially and it stuck for about 18 months!! Eating and drinking continued in the same way......that is, the food bowl put in the bed and water drunk only during the night in my absence.
One day about 6 months after arrival, I put the food bowl beside the bed and sat down on the couch to read. I had the idea that at this point Nanette had sufficient confidence to get out of the bed to eat. The result was that she got up eventually whilst frantically scanning the immediate environment...particularly towards the front door....and keeping a wary eye on me, snatched a piece of food then moved like lightning back into the bed. This frantic way of eating continued. I finally decided it was pointless to ask her to do something that she clearly was not ready for. I returned to the old way of the bowl in the bed.
I had by this time ceased to care what 'the professional' would think or say. Sink or swim, I was guided only by my intuition...and this lead me to some very interesting 'inner conversations'!! A question I often asked this other 'self' of me was, 'why have you taken this dog into your heart and your home?' The answer was a long time in coming. Eventually, it arrived.
There was the moment... and it's a moment that has never passed!! (You see time is after all an 'illusion') when I realised that everything in Life is ultimately 'Inner'. This showed me that Nanette was simply a part of myself....an abandoned part, a frightened part...and vulnerable. This aspect was created in childhood and had never been healed. In working with this beautiful soul of a dog, I was healing not only Nanette but also this little child.
We need not go into the details of that, it's enough to understand the process. But when someone is adopting a traumatised animal it's almost certain that there is this beautiful gift given with it!! This may be the reason why really traumatised dogs are seldom adopted...it requires a certain willingness to face oneself and it's not easy!! Having said that, I personally was not conscious of the real motive at the time of adoption.
Gradually over the weeks, we maintained a routine of car riding and walks in the quiet part of Vence. Eventually, around 7 months after adoption, I took Nanette into the forest with my Dutch friend who has a small terrier called Charlie. Nanette loved the forest. We went early in the morning and sometimes we would hear the Boar Hunters. Inevitably there would be gun shots and when that happened....Nanette was finished and we would leave for home. Nevertheless, this showed me Nanette in her natural environment....how she loved the undergrowth, the bushes, and how skilful she was in negotiating small ravines and river beds.
She was always attached to a lead but it was a tracking lead of 9 metres, this because of the danger of losing contact with her. Our local hunters would delight to take a fine hunting specimen like Nanette!!! I still use the tracking lead today...In spite of some sausage always in my pocket, recall is still unreliable. Next time I will tell you about our trip into town....!! yes, into town!! xx